Dear St. Margaret’s Family and Friends,

As we approach Christmas and the joy associated with this time of year, I find myself conflicted once again as the glow of anticipated time with children and grandchildren is dulled somewhat by the deep ache I have felt for nearly a week now. Like many of you, I have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking, reading, watching and talking about the terrible tragedy that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Sadly, we have experienced far too many school shootings in recent years (15 since Columbine) but thus far it seems that after a period of mourning and sympathy, we move on, more mindful perhaps but not necessarily changed. For me, this one is different. It is different because the vast majority of the victims were little kids, babies really. It is different because Sandy Hook had what seemed to be a very solid security system in place. It is different because there seems to be no logical connection of the violence to the school. And I hope it is different because this time, we will see this tragedy as a call to action and work diligently to make our schools and our world a safer place for all, especially for our children.

It is tempting to address this issue from just one perspective – school security. There is absolutely no doubt that this is a vitally important consideration in addressing the safety and well being of our students, but it is just one of several important considerations. We have begun the process of reviewing all our security measures from assessing campus access, to refinement of lock-down procedures, to coordination with local law enforcement, and we plan to send a separate communication when we return in January explaining what we are doing and why. Overall, our goal is to use common sense, good judgment and expert advice in carefully thinking through how best to create the safest environment possible on our campus. An important component of this is conveying to all members of our school community that we are in this together and we all share the responsibility of looking out for the safety and well being of each and every member of our school community.

But campus security is not the only issue here. Preventing violence on school campuses is largely treating the symptom and not necessarily addressing the problem. UCI psychiatrist and medical school professor, Dr. Adrian Preda, offers this assessment: “The easy answer is to do whatever it takes to establish safety. But how do we define safety? Where is the problem coming from? Does establishing safety mean beefed up barbwire fences, metal detectors, around-the-clock security guards carrying assault weapons and bullet proof jackets marching down the school hallways? Or does it mean an open school, without isolating fences, where students are connected to each other, respectful of their teachers and excited to learn? As a psychiatrist, I know that fear begets fear and violence begets violence. More of the same begets sameness. When I see violence I first look for the violence that preceded it.”

This past weekend I found myself reflecting on the courage of Todd Beamer who took action on Flight 93 on 9/11 with his famous words – “Are you guys ready? Let’s roll.” While the situation is of course different, the overall concept is the same and it says to us that we just can’t sit passively by and expect that others are going to solve this problem for us. This is our collective problem and we need to work together, as a school community and as a culture, to take reasonable, thoughtful and effective steps. When President Obama spoke in Newtown several evenings ago, he reminded us of our highest obligation: “This is our first task, caring for our children. It’s our first job. If we don’t get that right, we don’t get anything right. That’s how, as a society, we will be judged.”

Our “call to duty” transcends the specific measures of creating a secure and safe physical school environment and goes to the larger, more challenging issues of how we parent and the little and big things we can do to change the culture. Some issues in the end must be dealt with by our elected officials whose job it is to protect us all. I’m not sure how it gets done, but I would hope we could figure out a way to make it more difficult to get a gun than it is to get Sudafed!

Closer to home, we need to have some honest conversations with ourselves about how our current culture desensitizes young people to violence through video games and other forms of “play” violence. Research identifies a clear link between aggressive behavior and violent video game exposure. A fellow school head in Atlanta recently commented: “As parents, we need to do our best to stop our children from the desensitizing impact of video games. We have ‘gamified’ the murder of people and we leave our children, hours on end, shooting, stealing, bombing. Like the basketball player who practices foul shots, we get better at things when we practice. These habits become automatic, reactionary, and responsive. It seems to me that we can stop letting our children kill people over and over and over again — and call it a game.”

And finally and perhaps most importantly, the topic of mental health and mental illness needs far more attention, support and action. As Steve Pitman, Board President of the National Alliance on Mental Illness- Orange County informs us: “Mental illness is so misunderstood; so seldom discussed. The stigma associated with mental illness silences those suffering and their families. The isolation common in those who suffer is also common in their families. How do you go to a social event and tell your friends that your brilliant family member has dropped out of school, not working and isolated in his bedroom when you are asked how your son or daughter is doing? It is easier for many not to discuss it: it is easier not to go. The problem becomes worse.”

We are deeply committed to the promise that each student at St. Margaret’s will be known and loved by at least one adult in our school. The counseling component of what we do is central to our mission. Under the leadership of Janice Avalone, our all-school counselor, our school chaplains, and Dr. Greg Koch, we regularly engage in counseling support for our students and their families. This does not necessarily reflect a mental illness but it does illustrate that mental well-being is a critical aspect of creating a safe environment where those who need help can get it.

There is much to think and talk about when we come together again in January. It saddens me deeply that we are faced with these critical issues at this time of year when our focus should be on family and the joy of the Christmas. But perhaps this is the point. In this season of the winter solstice when the days shorten and the darkness deepens, we know that soon, as Judith Brown, the poetry editor of Friends Journal, reminds us: “It is exciting to think that the Light that shone in that stable, the Light that glowed around the angels singing, was so bright as to dim the stars in the same sky with it. It came at the darkest time of the year, the time of the winter solstice. A light shone out to assure the shepherds that something good, not something to be feared, was entering the world.”

This then is our call to action, our obligation to our children, to work our way through this period of darkness and find the light on the other side.

With love and affection to all our Tartan families and friends – Merry Christmas and the very best of wishes for a healthy, happy and peaceful New Year.